Out of boredom…
June 20, 2008 – 11:42 pm
As I wait for Mac F…
And so all is well.
Archive for the ‘FLAVOUR OF THE MONTH’ Category
South of Nowhere - Save Spashley!
June 9, 2008 – 9:42 pm
We take a break from our regular anime programming to bring you a little bit of a real-life TV series called South of Nowhere.
South of Nowhere is a teen series that deals with the usual angsty teen issues. Y’know, pregnancy, drugs, abuse, homosexuality…
It’d be another over-the-top show that I ignore, if not for one thing. Spencer and Ashley. Spashley. Y’know, the two girls who fall in love and out of love and then back in love…
I have to say right now that I hate soaps and dramas. That’s why I don’t usually watch ero-ge anime either; I just hate seeing people fall in love and then suffer by making stupid decisions and being selfish and oblivious and scared and… very human, in many ways. So I’m a romantic fool, so sue me.
But Spencer and Ashley are good, because halfway through the first season you realize both are broken in their own ways, and you can’t help but hope that they can mend each other, even just a little.
Oh, and Ashley (Mandy Musgrave) is like super uber hot. But that’s like, y’know, just a really small reason why.
Seriously though, SoN has been a really really important show, and not just for teens coming to grips with their own sexuality and battling fears of rejection from their own families and community. SoN, together with its fanbase and creator and the two actresses who continue to support it, is a symbol of how America (and hence a large portion of the world) is slowly coming to accept the idea of freedom to choose who you love. God, I almost want to cry. Watching SoN, I do wish I had some show like this in my teen years, or even some girl like Ashley. Ashley, who was messed up and confused and outrageous and outspoken, but also someone who wasn’t afraid to like girls that way.
But, although I would have liked to find Spashley sooner, it’s never too late. I’m glad I found them, and I hope that we will remember what they stood for.
PS, Mandy Musgrave and Gabrielle Christian interview on AfterEllen.com. Ashley and Spencer are cute, but their actresses are way way cooler. Makes me so glad to be alive in this day and age.
http://www.afterellen.com/blog/karman/brunch-with-bridget-video-blog-23
Time to mosey on home, people
April 8, 2008 – 10:06 pm
Watching Mnemosyne now. Just saw the third ep, as a matter of fact. It’s not quality anime, but I like it. Gee, I wonder why :D
Great character design (before moe, as some other blogger put it), guts & glory, and lotsa gratuitous yuri minus moe. Me like. Good mindless brainfood for the anime-starved. Escapism.
Leaving Japan soon. It’s been a good three years, even with the bad. I think I found people with whom I will always be great friends (if not emotionally intimate friends, and therein lies perhaps a great secret to happiness), and I reaffirmed friendships which I had previously. I also met someone who hurt me like no other, and who continues to be a source of unbelievable emotional pain, but I guess it’s all part of life balance, or whatever.
In any case, this chapter of my life is closed. Time to say goodbye, and toss out the bad. There will always be good anime, somewhere. And good friends.
Good TV shows
February 21, 2008 – 11:56 pm
Watching NCIS. This is good. In fact, might be better than Bones. I guess I’m just a Quantum Leap fan and that carries over. I thought TV sucked, but some doesn’t.
I tell myself
May 10, 2007 – 12:03 pm
I knew the terms when I signed up.
I knew there was A and B and C. But they weren’t supposed to matter, were they?
Maybe they don’t, and maybe I don’t really care.
But I didn’t know there was another, with the real key. And all I have is this plastic duplicate.
Sometimes it fits.
Sometimes it doesn’t, and I’m left standing outside in the dark.
I tell myself I knew the terms. And I tell myself it shouldn’t matter.
And patience is a virtue. So I will wait here, uncomplaining, smiling.
But when I’m helpless, useless, it hurts so very much.
To be reminded that I’d never be good enough, just a shade of a plastic key.
Lucky
May 7, 2007 – 7:14 pm
Woke up to go to the washroom and get a drink.
It’s 5:30 on Monday morning, can’t sleep coz my throat and head feel fuzzy, and it’s a long week ahead.
Then I go back to bed and see your sleeping face, and suddenly I feel like I’m the luckiest girl in the world.
Is it just age?
February 10, 2007 – 11:23 pm
I was listening to the Simoun soundtrack (which, incidentally, is frickin’ awesome), and on my iTunes after Simoun comes Singing Heart^2… and the first song is “Dance in the sweet memories”. Which got me all teary-eyed for the old days in Ann Arbor watching KOR with the gang. God, has it been 10 years already?
I don’t know why, but something about this song just gets me so nostalgic and emotional for Madoka. It’s the last arc of the series, and she’s finally admitting her attraction to Kyousuke, and it’s tearing her apart… kind of dramatic sort of thingy. I love this ending.
Stuck in a pre-order for the KOR DVD box set. Figured I owed ‘em something. And the 25% Amazon discount was too good to pass up.
God, it really has been 10 years. Hmm, could be just about time to panic about life and shit.
Or maybe I’ll sit back and watch more Simoun :D
More than lovers, less than friends
January 2, 2007 – 2:51 am
That’s what a line in a story said. Kinda stuck with me, coz I always figured, you know, if two people had loved each other so long and so much and were willing to die to save the other, that when they finally did get together, they’d be happy.
But I guess, there’s always the shit of the real life and family and all that to contend with.
Bleh, I get the feeling I’m becoming an emotional cripple. I talk to people and I’m generally open, but I haven’t had the experience of revealing significant parts of myself to any one person. And, no one has done the same for me. I’m genuinely worried I can’t connect with people anymore. This is why I talk to my blog, but even then I’m obscure. *sigh*
Yesterday, I attended the 4179*LOVE FC event. For the first time, I won something at the quiz, and went up on stage to receive a prize (along with about 10 others). Was 2nd last in line, I think. And as it got closer to my turn, was hella nervous. When it finally got to me, she turned to look at me, and her eyes brightened in surprise. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “You won!” I managed a nod. She’s much smaller, more fragile-looking, than I remembered, definitely far smaller than she appears to be when performing. She hands me my prize, and I shake her (tiny) outstretched hand. She smiles. “Thank you for sending me letters. I read them all.” I think I stammer a thank you, and as I try to think of something profound and encouraging to say, she adds, “Sounds like you’ve been working hard.” After that, I don’t really remember. Just nodded or mumbled, and shuffled away, probably rudely, in my desperation to not linger too long on stage, as brought about by a fear that I would get lynched for such presumptuous behaviour as *gasp* talking to her. My legs were wobbly as I made my way back to my seat.
The conversation in Japanese, just because I want to burn it in my mind forever, never let go.
へ：「あ、当たりましたね！」
私：「うん」
へ：「手紙を書いてくれてありがとう。全部読んでいますよ！」
私：「ありがとうございます」
へ：「最近、すごい頑張っているようですね」
Because after all the high has worn off and you come back down to earth, you realize, that’s all you’ve got.
Just another memory.
This is freaky
December 11, 2006 – 1:30 am
This is pretty messed up dude. I can read this…!
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Bleh, and now I know exactly why it feels like so much of a pain to read Japanese text. Because I have to read, as opposed to Jedi Mind Trick it.
Out and in
December 4, 2006 – 4:14 pm
Quit on 11/30
Started new project on 12/1
Not quite sure where I’m going, but dang it, I’m gonna have a social life.
So there.
When your life is messed up and you feel like your drowning…
November 8, 2006 – 10:08 pm
My boss asked me want I wanted to do, after.
I couldn’t really tell him. Heck, I had a hard time, saying it myself. Guess my decision boiled down to a cross between sheer panic about what I could see looming over me for the near future, work-wise, and a deep disatisfaction with what I hadn’t achieved in my year and a half here.
Basically, I seriously, honestly wanted to get the hell out of this rut I had, before I realized it, found myself trapped in. You know, all work, no social life, no real job satisfaction, a feeling of isolation so deep I panicked one night, lying in bed before sleep. That’s when I started to get scared.
So, what’s it all mean? Hope for something better, take care of the stuff I’ve neglected, grow and learn, that kinda high-faluting stuff.
Then I read a blog. It said, “Hey, we all want to change our lives: stop smoking, lose weight, quit drinking, fall in love.”
And I realized, shit, yeah, I knew I wanted to change my life. Hated it as it was, hated me as it was. But in the end, the above comes pretty close. Except I don’t smoke, so that’s three things I really wanted to accomplish, by jumping ship.
But maybe I’ll just settle for finding love, and the rest will take care of itself.
Things are already looking up, I just need to last like another three weeks. Three weeks! God help me. And god help the poor guy who’s left behind to pick up my mess. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy, except it’s that or self-destruction.
November
November 8, 2006 – 3:29 pm
I remember when we were kids, my brother and I would huddle under the blankets at night, shivering but not willing to turn off the aircon, singing, “November, cold and freezy nights”. Now, this is only interesting because it was to the tune of the Transformers opening. Kids…
Now it’s November in Tokyo, and the nights are pretty cold but the days are still up to 20C, and the sun is shining. Shitty day to be stuck at work.
Well, I was stuck in a black hole for the last few months, but I’m glad to say I’ve finally made some proactive efforts to rejig my life back under control. My course of action could be considered a little drastic, perhaps cowardly or simply overkill. I prefer to call it strategic retreat under overwhelming fire (since I’m low on ammo, have no tactics or planning officer, and don’t really care much for taking more casualties against a target I’m no longer interested in, anyway). My friends just say, “Dude, get the hell outta there, NOW!”
http://www.joelonsoftware.com/items/2006/08/10.html
Maybe next time around, I can try this.
Self-pity
October 28, 2006 – 1:19 am
I think… I have wasted two years of my life. I think, I was meant to find something more. ‘What is most important to you.’ Or, I intended to, by coming to Japan. Instead, I met many people, had fun, perhaps fell in love, just a little… but not what I came to Japan to find.
I wanted to find what I needed most. Instead, I found something which ate me and didn’t let me go. Fool I am.
I’ve turned 30. What do I have?! At 25 I was brilliant. At 30, I have regressed. I would cry, if only tears were enough. But they are not, so I wallow in dry self-pity. Fool.
Why why why?! I don’t understand. But that is the way it is.
I should have paid more attention to Negotiation 101. Seems I never get what I really want.
Fool.
Strawberry Panic - quick rave
October 19, 2006 – 9:49 pm
I just finished watching Strawberry Panic ep 8.
Oh my god, this show is soooooooo cute!!
I saw the first ep way long ago, when it first came out. Heck, I had to, it was billed at the yuri show of the year, borrowing shamelessly from Marimite and a gaggle of other works. Mediaworks at their plagaristic best, ya know?
First ep = some oneesama girl like practically assaulting some kohai girl.
Okay, pass. Neither character appealed, and I only go for shows where I like the characters, or the plot or atmosphere is extremely good, such as in GitS.
But last week, I went to London on vacation and suddenly found myself with time to kill. Like, I’m not working frickin’ 80-90 hour weeks anymore. And on blogsuki people were raving about the ending to Stopa… I had to see it.
And so I did. Up till ep 6. It was hard going. I found it boring. I don’t like Nagisa. I keep getting her mixed up with Shizuma (coz Nagisa just sounds like such a seme name) and I don’t care for Nagisa and I think Tamao is kinda freaky…
But… I figured, what the hey. Coz I have time to kill and 50 billion people worship Yaya so there’s gotta be something about this show, right?
Yeah… I watched ep 7 on the plane. Back from London. Feeling miserable that I had left a bunch of good friends for Hell On Earth.
Ep 7 is the one with the psycho duo from Spica. And suddenly, SP wasn’t so innocently anymore. Almost kisses my @ss, those two Spica girls are like… … … ahem, excuse while I wipe my fogged glasses. Holy shit, this is not something you watch out of the safe confine of your room, girls. This is pretty damn hardcore.
Um. I thought it was pretty frickin’ awesome :D
Geh, so sue me, I’m a dirty ol’ anime fan.
Excuse me. “A bee always goes for honey.” Dude, those girls are underaged and highly dangerous. And all that weird ass psycho ‘I’m so awesome’ shit when trying to practically rape some 14 year old? Um… yeah. Needless to say I had to see more of this show ^^;;;;;;;
Okay I’m a sicko. Actually no. I was very much disturbed by that scene with Kaname. Kaname should be like neutralized. And nuetured. Yah. And icky as Akio, and that’s saying a lot.
But hey, that brings us to ep 8. Which is the cutest ep in the world. Who knew a lost umbrella would be sooooo cute?! Absolutely awesome. And I hate ‘cute’.
So, I guess I’ll be stickin’ with this one all the way. Even if I don’t give much more than a rat’s behind for Nagisa and Shizuma. Go Yaya! I know you’ll get shafted in the end because you have that aura of tragedy, but dammit… dammit! Go Yaya!! But, I also like Hikari. And Amane. Dammit! Threesome!
Excuse me, I’m high on jetlag.
Shiny Happy People
August 29, 2006 – 2:20 am
I finished a book, a few days ago, in which the heroine had a vision of herself in the future, where her brother and sister had married and left, and she was left alone to care for her mother grown old… and she had nothing but her oppressive duty.
It scared the heroine, and it scared me too. For she saw very clearly her bleak, empty life, the result of despair and complete withdrawal after seeing her love marry someone else. She saw no escape, no way to touch what she wanted. What she saw, could easily be my future too.
What would it be, if I never found “the one”?
I’m tired. I’m sick of repeating the hurt. I hate hating myself for not being able to get what I want. I’m just sad and jealous and upset and depressed and a host of other really negative mental states, and I have a frickin’ huge proposal in a tight deadline looming with 2 people to direct, and here I am spewing my guts when I should be hammering out the concept for the ultimate real estate search engine slash portal in Japan… and I just can’t get you out of my head.
And to think, a week ago I was high on endorphines. Ahhh, fuck love, I should just start running 10 klicks again.
