When boredom hits
They say that writing stuff down in a journal before going to bed is a good way to empty your brain of distractions so you can go to sleep easy. Maybe it’s true, but I always feel that I don’t know what to write these days. Most of the stuff I don’t want to bother to think about, much less put down in writing. Plus, I’d rather consume than output.
This frame of mind bothers me. First of all, I feel guilty for not being productive. I also feel guilty for not being more organized. For instance, I have wanted to split this blog into “anime” and “personal” for a long time, so the good stuff (anime ramblings) doesn’t get cluttered with the messy stuff (the inside of my head). But, I never get around to it, so I don’t write anymore. Then I feel bad about not writing.
This is where Tina Su’s blog “ThinkSimpleNow” comes in. Great stuff, very good common sense. In addition to advice, it also makes me feel better because now I know I’m not the only well-adjusted person in this world to be, well, not quite so well-adjusted. Insecurities, guilt, jealousy, self-doubt, lack of self-esteem, lack of motivation… Everyone has them in spades. I was just lucky that I never experienced any of this until I hit like, 24. Weird, man.
Nowadays I wonder if I can ever go back to that carefree self again. I also wonder why I became the way I am now. And I realize that me feeling that my past self was better is not a very positive frame of mind.
Anyway, the real reason I’m making this post is because I’m waiting on ep 20 of El Cazador, and it’s taking it’s good long time. El Cazador is the third in Bee Train’s girls-with-guns trilogy and so I should be eating it up, but in honesty it took me forever to get started. I quit after every ep up until like, 6 or 7, when I decided, screw it, this is one series I have to watch through because two bloggers I respect say it’s great, and so since I’d rather consume than produce, I consumed.
Okay, so I’m up to ep 20 (speed watching since I quit my job last Monday) and while I’m not struck by it, it’s not a chore to watch the next ep. Which is better than, say, Cashmere Mafia (Caitlin, you’re gorgeous and I love you but obviously the writers don’t) or Sarah Conner Chronicles (Summer Glau is especially gorgeous, and Lena Headey was great but then she starts dating geek guys and T-800 starts wearing dead people and suddenly I’m not so thrilled anymore) .
I’ll let you know if this series makes my rave list.
The best thing I’m watching now though is CSI. Up to Disc 6. Eagerly awaiting the last two (love Tsutaya Discas which is a delivery rental service). Will give Bones a try.
Lest I appear to be a total couch potato, I will casually mention that I’ve put in 5 days of boarding in the last 8 days. Nyah. Jyouetsu Kokusai is an awful ski resort, Kawaba is damn nice for a day trip, and Nozawa Onsen is awesome for a couple days if you have plenty of snow and money.
So, now my immediate goals are 1) look up tips on how to get better at boarding 2) figure out if I want to spring for a driving course ($2000 in Japan, what a rip, but I’d probably be a damn good driver at the end of it) or try for a license straight off, or go for just the motorcycle license.
Okay, that about sums up my life at the moment. Feeling very restless, will change environments soon I guess unless a miracle happens.
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