I tell myself
May 10, 2007 – 12:03 pm
I knew the terms when I signed up.
I knew there was A and B and C. But they weren’t supposed to matter, were they?
Maybe they don’t, and maybe I don’t really care.
But I didn’t know there was another, with the real key. And all I have is this plastic duplicate.
Sometimes it fits.
Sometimes it doesn’t, and I’m left standing outside in the dark.
I tell myself I knew the terms. And I tell myself it shouldn’t matter.
And patience is a virtue. So I will wait here, uncomplaining, smiling.
But when I’m helpless, useless, it hurts so very much.
To be reminded that I’d never be good enough, just a shade of a plastic key.

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