Self-pity
October 28, 2006 – 1:19 am
I think… I have wasted two years of my life. I think, I was meant to find something more. ‘What is most important to you.’ Or, I intended to, by coming to Japan. Instead, I met many people, had fun, perhaps fell in love, just a little… but not what I came to Japan to find.
I wanted to find what I needed most. Instead, I found something which ate me and didn’t let me go. Fool I am.
I’ve turned 30. What do I have?! At 25 I was brilliant. At 30, I have regressed. I would cry, if only tears were enough. But they are not, so I wallow in dry self-pity. Fool.
Why why why?! I don’t understand. But that is the way it is.
I should have paid more attention to Negotiation 101. Seems I never get what I really want.
Fool.
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