Self-pity

October 28, 2006 – 1:19 am

I think… I have wasted two years of my life. I think, I was meant to find something more. ‘What is most important to you.’ Or, I intended to, by coming to Japan. Instead, I met many people, had fun, perhaps fell in love, just a little… but not what I came to Japan to find.

I wanted to find what I needed most. Instead, I found something which ate me and didn’t let me go. Fool I am.

I’ve turned 30. What do I have?! At 25 I was brilliant. At 30, I have regressed. I would cry, if only tears were enough. But they are not, so I wallow in dry self-pity. Fool.

Why why why?! I don’t understand. But that is the way it is.

I should have paid more attention to Negotiation 101. Seems I never get what I really want.

Fool.

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