Archive for March, 2005
March 31, 2005 – 8:09 pm
Erm… Okay.
On the good side, it wasn’t some cheesy reset.
On the other hand, it was the corniest revive I’ve ever seen. Um, so basically after painting everything in swathes of blood-red angst and black despair, we have… Sentai Hime! Please, I like my anime slightly less schizophrenic.
Then again, I have to give kudos to the fact that it wasn’t a reset, that everyone is back for the ending, with their memories, and life goes on as usual. Gee, talk about having your cake and eating it, and getting seconds too. Excuse me while I go into a sugar overload.
Personally, I was pretty much done with ep 25. That was the whole story of Shizuru and Natsuki, and since I don’t really care much for Mai-HiME as an anime, ep 26 is just kind of an extra, heh. So, even though absolutely nothing made sense and nothing was explained and stuff just happened to the whims of the writing staff as opposed to following some even vague rule of logical consistency and human motivation, I’m not particularly bothered.
I am slightly disturbed, however, by the idea that everything that came to pass had no bad consequences whatsoever. I think we really got hammered by the idea that we should no deny our feelings of love, that it’s best to accept them straightforwardly, fully. But, uh, hello… There was a particular someone who significantly reduced the population of the city.
Uh, but dammit… they’re cute! Argh!! They’re so cute! It’s makes me want to gag but they’re so cute I think I’ll just turn off that side of my brain and take it for what it’s worth. -_-;;
One thing I complained about was how the resolution in ep 25 neatly rested on the fact that Natsuki and Shizuru avoided any sort of aftermath… I mean you say what you need to say, then you die, so no worries about how to deal with the situation in the future. This ep turned that right on it’s head, since everyone comes back at the exact instance they green-sparklied. And Shizuru, ah Shizuru, crying into Natsuki’s arms, “Forgive me, forgive me!” That seriously, seriously made the whole thing worth it.
Everything else can be considered a different show *laugh*
Dammit, damn Sunrise and their stupid “Cast Level 99 Gag Anime Transformation”. I guess it’s consolation for those who liked eps 1-7.
I’d love to see a back story on how Shizuru and Natsuki really deal with the aftermath, that very evening once they have some time together alone. Wouldn’t that make a great psychological exploral?
As for Shizuru herself, the only way I can accept her return to normality is if her mental deterioration and subsequent rampage were due to the “curse of Kiyohime”, and that once she revived her mind became clear. Otherwise… bleh, you just substitute one brand of insanity for another.
Ah… demo Kaichou… yappa saikou da (*´Д｀)
So what I guess I’m trying to say is, Shizuru and Natsuki, Forever! In any shape or form? Ah, what weak-willed creatures we are; despite our eternal complaining, we’ll roll over and take it all, as long as you feed us enough warm fuzzy shots of these two :P
Posted in ANIME, Mai-HiME | 5 Comments »
March 30, 2005 – 1:27 am
We continue with compensation/evaluation concepts and RSS reader ideas. I think I quite like my job at the moment.
What I hope to accomplish, Beta Version:-
1) I’d like to be more involved with management, strategy, structure and growth. I believe that growing people is one of the most important things a company can do, aside from the obvious fact that it has to be profitable and deliver products and services the customer wants. A fulfilment of my dream would be to say, “I was the main driver in shaping this company into the success it is now.”
2) I have a lot of ideas about the net, communities etc. For example, how things should work, how we can change things to make it work better or easier or more effectively. I love the potential of the net, and how much freedom and power it gives individuals, not only to broadcast their own ideas and retrieve information, but also to amalgate and remix and grow and create. I hope to be able to implement some of these ideas while at My Company.
I hope to development these thoughts as I go on. The greatest threat is that I get too busy to reflect on myself and the company, that I get too caught up in the day-to-day firefighting details and can’t see the Big Picture.
Posted in MISC. RAMBLINGS | No Comments »
March 30, 2005 – 12:11 am
Yesterday, March 29th, was the 10th anniversary of the day Hekiru performed her first concert (as Shiina Hekiru, not as a voice actress). Since that day, Hekiru has performed 283 concerts in which she sang a grand total of over 5800 songs.
Any way you cut it, that’s pretty darn impressive. Especially for someone who has never had a “hit” song, and who pretty much dropped out of the seiyuu world over 5 years ago. If for nothing else, I hope she will be remembered for this achievement.
Posted in SHIINA HEKIRU | No Comments »
March 29, 2005 – 4:41 am
I just turned down an offer by a Proper Company for a QA Engineer position… I really liked the folks and the atmosphere (for a Proper Company), but things were too late, or something, I dunno, but anyway I’m here at The Venture and not there, so…
A headhunting firm introduced us. I just spoke to the guy in charge of me. Turning down this offer feels like I’ve dumped a really nice guy *sigh*
Dude, I dunno what’s right. But then again, I wasn’t terribly excited about the actual work there too. The learning prospects seemed very good, and I would have had a lot of experience running teams in a structured but growing environment with a lot of support. Basically, a venture company on steroids.
Instead I chose the “easy” path, flitting into a small company that may not have many great prospects for success, that’s got real growing pains with headcount and profitability, where they work you to the bone and beyond… Does it have a future? What would I learn? Should I have gone for more “education” and then zip back into a venture atmosphere (keeping in mind that this company really is trying to break beyond venture and into proper company zone)?
I guess the biggest question is, when will I finally decide to go back home? And what would I do then?
So, I guess I should write up what I’ve done, and what results I expect from this decision, in 6 months time.
Ah hell, who knows what you’ve lost in the road not taken? If I had gone to the other place, I would have been wondering what I was missing here.
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March 28, 2005 – 12:45 am
What I should have done better:-
- Talk to Joe about compensation and evaluation schemes and ideas about how the Company works
- Think more about the basic concepts and purposes of compensation and evaluation schemes, and recognize immediately that profitability, aligning company goals, and compensation are in a sense really separate goals, even though they impact one another
What I did that was right:-
- Speak to O-san about compensation
Thought of the Day
Because your value stems not from what you know, but what you can amalgate from your resources.
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March 26, 2005 – 4:58 am
Now that I’ve made my mild displeasure at the previous episode known, I figure it also deserved a treatise on what was good. Yes, despite the fact that I considered the Shizuru x Natsuki wrap-up too pat and neat (not to mention that I was still quite unhappy that Shizuru continued to be psycho for No Good Goddamn Reason), this episode was packed with some pretty tasty bits.
Before we get to our favourite girls, I’d like to take the opportunity to rave about MIYU, who was simply incredibly awesome and cool. Should have figured Sunrise would do mecha in true style! As an old school mecha fight fan (well, old school as in Masami Ohbari of BGC and Detonator Orgun), I get seriously pumped to see beautiful action execution. Forget content, this is all about the style and atmostphere, and ho-boy does our little robot girl deliver! Cheesy and corny, but dang it had me grinning when she selects “Mode Scarlet – Artillery” (woo woo!) and her clothes shimmer to red. Ahh… joy… *happy tears*
I have to say, the fights in this ep were also pretty good. Yep, we’re talking MIYU blasting away, but the true stars must be Natsuki and Kaichou, of course. Oh, and Mega Duran ^^
First, Natsuki firing at Shizuru, and Shizuru hitting aside the bullets with her naginata (that girl’s gooood…), then the massive, massive Duran appearing out of the ice, with Natsuki riding on top, then big huge mechs clashing… Good stuff. Almost good enough to forget Shizuru’s recycled animation :P
Favourite Shizuru/Natsuki parts in this episode:
- Shizuru hefting her naginata and going, “But I really do love you” with the saddest eyes
- Shizuru calling for Kiyohime after that (that voice, that tone!)
- Natsuki summoning Duran, who turns out to be suddenly a LOT bigger than before! And she stands on his nose while he howls into the sky
- Shizuru saying, “Do you hate me THAT much?” after Natsuki says the Child grows out of the depth of emotion
- Kiyohime chasing Natsuki out of the trees, and then you see Duran’s leg step into the frame, and you know with that crunching sound Duran has just whacked it aside
- Natsuki brushing Shizuru’s hair away tenderly
- Natsuki when she shouts, “DURAN, LOAD SILVER CARTRIDGE!”
- “UTAE!”
And then green sparklies.
Okay, now comes the treatise on Natsuki and Shizuru. Actually, when I think about it, for a 26 episode series that had a gadzillion characters and tried to fit everything but the kitchen sink into its plotlines, Natsuki and Shizuru got some real airtime. Although Shizuru’s story was too abrupt and convenient to be called good writing, it was still treated very well, especially in the midst of everything going to hell. In fact, you could say that Shizuru was the central point of this final arc, and they did manage to squeeze a heck of a lot out of it. Or perhaps that’s because I’ve been reading the reams of debating going on on the ‘net for the last 5 weeks ^^;;
What’s surprising about how things turned out through the last 5 episodes is that right on par with Shizuru’s fall into insanity was the breadth of Natsuki’s growth and compassion. Back then in ep 21, we thought Shizuru was the coolest thing sinced sliced bread, and that Natsuki was totally useless. Then, Natsuki returns with a conviction that outshines any of the other HiMEs because it comes straight from within herself. I think Natsuki is without doubt the hero of this story, an immensely strong, noble and selfless character. She was a bitter young girl, then a distant, single-minded teenager with only one true friend – a friend who went on to shock her by violating her trust and revealing herself to be not quite right in the head.
When Shizuru, who had believed that she must not ever let Natsuki find out that she desired Natsuki, because there is no way Natsuki could ever return “these twisted feelings”, is abrubtly revealed, she loses it completely. It is utterly disturbing for us to see a Shizuru who kills everything that stands between her and Natsuki, all the while declaring that she will protect Natsuki, and then when faced with Natsuki again, says “Natsuki, I will make you mine.” We could not possibly imagine the extent to which Natsuki herself is recoiling in horror at the way everything has disintegrated.
Helpless and lost. That was Natsuki stumbling through the streets in the rain. That was Natsuki who could not find the strength to summon Duran. That was Natsuki bound in threads by Nao, who could do nothing but shout for the two HiMEs to stop fighting… Until Nao’s comment laid a flash of insight into her heart.
That was when Natsuki realized how important Shizuru was. Shizuru was important, more important than even her mother – who had been her mainstay until her betrayal was revealed – because it was Shizuru’s patience and ever cheerful presence that drew Natsuki out of her solitary darkness. Without Shizuru, she would have been as misguided as Nao, but because Shizuru stood by Natsuki, even as her lone friend, Natsuki became the person she is now.
And with that, the stage is set; Natsuki would do everything in her power to deliver Shizuru from this black fate of the HiMEs. And that’s why she knows she has to fight Shizuru, because stopping Shizuru is the kindest thing she could possibly do for this most important person in her life.
My main complaint about Shizuru’s madness – aside from the fact that I still think it makes no sense for someone who is otherwise a cool and collected, yet teasing and fun-loving girl, to suddenly believe that committing murder is a fully acceptable way of demonstrating affection – is what she hopes to accomplish with Natsuki. Surely she knows that the more she kills, the further away she pushes Natsuki. But still she tells her, in ep 24, that she will go destroy the remnants of the First District and then return because “you are mine”. She knows, all too well, that Natsuki is shocked by her “twisted feelings”, and that there is little chance that Natsuki will return them. Yet all her actions indicate she now operates in her own little world where nothing else matters but her obssession to “destroy everything that stands between me and Natsuki”, and damn the consequences of her actions on any hope of repairing her relationship with Natsuki. Even when Natsuki regains her powers from rediscovering what is important, Shizuru only seems sad… and then she leaves.
Perhaps it’s because I can’t believe Shizuru could be so crazy as to be completely divorced from reality, even if she might be more than a little obssessed with wanting Natsuki, and wanting to hide that from Natsuki. Cognitive dissonance causes, after all, an immense amount of mental stress, and one does snap when the load is too much. But Shizuru wasn’t crazy at the beginning, she was just a very confused girl like yours truly, and so once the big shock wears off, you’d think she’d be a little calmer.
So, two nights of rampaging around later, we have Shizuru sitting at a desk in school, sipping tea. Natsuki busts in on her bike (okay, granted that’s not exactly the best of approaches), and Shizuru is so dead calm it’s freaky as hell, dammit!! And then Natsuki declares she will stop Shizuru once and for all, and Shizuru replies, with a sigh, that “I guess you won’t accept my feelings after all. In that case..” and materializes naginata and rushes Natsuki.
I’m sitting there going… duh!! Of course! You just killed a bunch of people, you’re insane, and you’re utterly unpredictable now because who knows who’s next on your list?
Well, you know the rest of the episode. Natsuki leads her out. Shizuru follows on Kiyohime, saying that she really didn’t want Natsuki to suffer. And then she finally shows emotion, in a voice that’s cracking with sadness… “Natsuki… Demo uchi yappari Natsuki suki nan dosue.” And those eyes… narrowed in pain and perhaps hopelessness – “That’s why, even if you hate me, I will try to make you mine.” And when Natsuki summons Mega Duran and says that the depth of feeling becomes the power of the Child, Shizuru, tears streaming, attacks whle crying out, “Do you hate me THAT much?”
When I rewatched it, this part really hit me again. Shizuru’s pain is incredible. Because, you see, she believes completely that Natsuki hates her. Hates her, despises her, will oppose her at any turn, because Shizuru betrayed Natsuki by falling in love with her and, worse, by being unable to control her own feelings.
I really didn’t like how neat the resolution was to these two. No, I did not begrudge Natsuki her feelings towards Shizuru. Shizuru was obviously important to her, but that was also mixed up in the need to save the world by stopping Shizuru. And Natsuki had decided her course of action knowing that if she destroyed Kiyohime, she herself would die, and once Natsuki died, Shizuru too would follow. Strong and noble, yes, but what about Shizuru?
Shizuru, who had snagged the bell which had encased Natsuki, broke it into pieces, wrapped her whiplike weapon around this girl who could never possibly come willingly to her, and pulled her in to a deep embrace. I didn’t understand this, didn’t understand what Shizuru really wanted or hoped for. Why the sadness when she finally held Natsuki in her arms?
I knew why Shizuru was happy when Natsuki told her she did indeed love her, although not in the way Shizuru would have wished. That’s just straightforward. But there is also her surprise when Natsuki ordered Duran to fire and commit both Childs to destruction, and her final little smile, her quiet “ureshii” while the two of them fade away while holding each other… Was it simply just because of Natsuki’s words, “I love you”, and the implication that Shizuru is Natsuki’s most important person?
No… no it wasn’t. Going back, I suddenly realized what it was Shizuru really, truly wanted. More than Natsuki to feel the same about her, more than Natsuki herself… What Shizuru really wanted was Natsuki’s forgiveness. Shizuru had gone on a rampage precisely because she believed that once Natsuki found out about her “sin”, there was nothing left. That smidgeon of hope she had always had in the corner of her heart, that one day Natsuki might actually feel the same way back, was shattered the instant it became obvious Natsuki had overheard that fateful conversation with Haruka and Yukino.
And that’s why Shizuru lost it. It wasn’t sudden insanity, it was but the blackest of despair, the total absence of hope, that drove her to such extremes. After all, she had nothing else to lose, and so why shouldn’t she do as she wished? Nothing would change how Natsuki felt to her, nothing could erase Natsuki’s disgust at her sinful existence, nothing would turn that recoil from her touch to acceptance. Natsuki hated her. And that was that.
And so that’s why Shizuru was so shocked by Natsuki’s kiss and her subsequent words. I think, more than the touch of Natsuki’s lips or hearing Natsuki’s “confession of love”, Shizuru was suddenly overwhelmed with the realization that Natsuki had forgiven her, forgiven her all her sinful feelings and her betrayal and her killings. And she realized that Natsuki had actually never hated her… despite everything she had done.
All Shizuru wanted was forgiveness. I think she could have lived with Natsuki not feeling the same towards her. But she was so frightened of losing Natsuki if her real feelings were to be known, that it blinded her to how Natsuki would really react to the news. When she realized she did not lose Natsuki, in fact had never lost Natsuki, that Natsuki would always love her and accept her for who she was… That was the greatest happiness for Shizuru. Shizuru, tormented and tortured soul of a woman who can never have want she wants, finally knows peace.
And Natsuki, Natsuki was the greatest friend a person could ever wish for. The Childs reflect the nature of their HiMEs – Natsuki is truly the epitome of loyalty.
Dang, this is long. Took me forever to write, and I still didn’t get it to come out the way I wanted it to. I think I violated quite a few rules of good writing, too. ^^;; Bah, it’s too much trouble to fix my sentence structures and pronouns.
I guess I will close by saying that I was very moved that Shizuru’s sad and tragic tale got the best saviour one could hope for. Natsuki, who did indeed love Shizuru with all her heart, who would have done anything to save her most important person from this suffering. Natsuki, who understood Shizuru exactly, and would be the one to protect and care for Shizuru to the very end.
Who knew that one could find such an amazing story of love in a moe Sunrise anime?
Who knew I would care so much for a make-believe character to be sitting here writing psychological analyses?
Shizuru is an incredible phenomenon… I don’t think the creators even dreamt she would attract so much attention from anime fans the world over. What is it about her that draws us in? Heh, I guess we’ve all fallen in love with Kaichou.
Time to hand it over to the doujin artists and fanfic writers.
Posted in ANIME, Mai-HiME | 6 Comments »
March 25, 2005 – 10:19 pm
Yep, I’m in the office now, kinda chilling before the management meeting at 1pm. I was here till 11pm last night, and had no intention of waking up before 12pm… but it was so damn cold I was awake at 7:30am and shivering, even with three blankets and a T-shirt over my head. Needless to say, I was not happy. On the other hand, once I finally accepted the fact that I was not going to get back to sleep, I actually became productive – cleaned up the place, backed up some files, and bought myself a clothes hanger thingy. Feels good.
Yesterday I had to rack my brains pretty hard of a “What I should have done better”, but I finally got one.
I was asked, just before I left, to help think up an incentive plan slash evaluation policy for the company. That’s pretty cool if you think about it… being involved in that aspect of running a company makes me feel as if, well, I’m actually doing a bit more. Guess the MBA is worth something *laugh*.
So where’s this leading. Well, I had been complaining a little about paying people what they are worth, and did kinda shoot off on how cheap I’m getting paid at this job, and how the company really should pay its guys more if they want more good people. Anyway, what I realized was, I shouldn’t have just been complaining about the situation, I should have been thinking, okay, so what do I have to change about the situation to make it better? I should have been thinking about how people should get paid. In other words, I should have been thinking about improvements to the incentive policy.
So, that’s my lesson for today. Next, I gotta do up a post on Shizuru and Natsuki.
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March 25, 2005 – 5:29 am
How ironic that the ending we all desperately wanted should taste of ashes.
Natsuki and Shizuru, yes they did kiss, yes Natsuki did express her love for Shizuru, yes they did die (or rather, go sparkly) in each other’s arms… And yet, I found little joy in the situation.
Natsuki is straight; she made it clear that she did not feel that way for Shizuru. So in the end, you have a situation where Shizuru is still crazy and obssessed with Natsuki, and Natsuki is a loyal friend of Shizuru to the very end. I do not deny Natsuki’s sincerity of feeling, but the kiss and the expression of affection and love… if you take yuri-based pleasure in that, you’re reveling in nothing but “service” stemming from an unnatural situation.
Seriously, the above scene would not have happened if 1) Shizuru wasn’t a murderous rampaging rapacious obssessed psycho,; 2) they had to green-sparkle to save the world, and this was the only way to do Shizuru in; and 3) there’s no need to deal with the consequences of said event, since they are green-sparkled.
Get what I mean? It happened, because it had to happen that way. It didn’t happen for love or romance. I argue that this conclusion is far less a natural outshoot of the characters acting in character than it is simply scripwriters forcing the outcome.
That’s why I can’t take real pleasure in this. Then again, I suppose I would have been more upset if Natsuki didn’t accept Shizuru and Shizuru didn’t go out in peace. Ah well.
Dammit, we need a separate series for these two!!
“DURAN! LOAD SILVER CATRIDGE!!” Way to go Natsuki, you frickin’ rock!!! :D
Posted in ANIME, Mai-HiME | 4 Comments »
March 23, 2005 – 10:23 pm
They say the best way to improve yourself is if, at the end of every day, you stand in front of the mirror and think over what you did, and think of what you should have done better. Or, at least that’s what Jack Welch or someone or other wrote.
I figure it’s worth a go, so I’ll try to type something up every evening.
Things I did right:
- Buy the umbrella
- Eat my veggies!
- Start listing up the features of Job Log
- Sent out all the stuff I had to do for Jun and Emi, early
Things I did wrong:
- Eat rice crackers
- Left work early? No, the problem was leaving work before H-san came back
Things I should have done better:
- Asked earlier about the installer for Job Log ie take the initiative faster
- Asked H-san when the Job Log feature list was due
- Do the feature list, even if it wouldn’t have been perfect – not everything has to be right the first time, it’s sometimes as important to have a rough idea up for discussion
- Be less anti-social at my desk ie don’t rely on H-san
- Ask how I should have set myself up for mail, Cyboze, printers etc
- Think about the role I want to play in this company
- Consider sitting down and talking to the guys up there… after all, I’m going to be one of them, right? So I should start acting like one of them
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March 18, 2005 – 1:19 pm
Today, I have signed, or rather, stamped my soul over to my new work place. They’ve invited me to their monthly company meeting, tomorrow (or rather, today) at 1pm. I also found out that the CEO is younger than me. That’s a strange feeling. Plus, the fact that the company really has to start paying people more if it doesn’t want to implode.
In other news, I really like my new place, temporary as it may be. Moving is going to be a pain, what with all the crap I’ve accumulated since I got here. I wonder if I can bum transport off someone…
Also doing design for a friend’s site. It’s fun…
When I have some time, I may write a thesis on Shizuru.
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March 17, 2005 – 12:23 pm
Damn, suddenly Natsuki is unbelievably cool!! And drawn awesome, too :D
Shizuru, off in la-la land, cleans house with the 4-headed Snake from Hell. She’s rackin’ up quite a body count there, not to mention copious amounts of property damage.
Of course, Shizuru stops by Natsuki’s place as Nao (also known as the Really Messed Up Girl due to Traumatic Childhood Experience) announces to a once-more strung up Natsuki that she’s bait. I would like to add that Nao is also one Really Stupid Girl, since she actually thought she could take on Kiyohime with Julia. Guess she didn’t see Shizuru deflect Kagutsuchi’s Death Beam without breaking a sweat.
Nao takes the fight to the rooftops. Oh no! Kiyohime is caught in webbing! Oh shucks! Turns out Shizuru’s pretty handy with that naginata – in a flash Julia’s legs are little itty bitty pieces as Natsuki falls to the ground with a painful thump. (Shizuru, you baka, this was your chance to catch her gallantly. Guess you were too busy proclaiming your love to the world.)
Nao is quite unhappy. Rather, make that she’s finally realized she’s in real deep shit. Oh yes. I would panic too, if I had a psycho Shizuru smile and say, “You think I’m going to let you get away with just that, after you hurt Natsuki?” She basically screams what the hell is going on and how no one can be trusted and how love is just a bunch of crap etc etc.
Oh yeah, sometime, Kiyohime just had Julia for lunch. I’ll have to rewatch to confirm when this happens, but basically Nao’s MIP is her mom, and she’s pretty devastated.
Shizuru’s about to finish Nao off, permanent, when suddenly a newly enlightened Natsuki runs in front of Nao.
“Why, Natsuki?” asks Shizuru.
“Because, we are alike.” We then get a flashback to Natsuki’s younger, more disillusioned days. She is about to crush a flower, when a young Shizuru (ka.. kawaii… ToT) admonishes her and says that flowers are pretty because they bloom and should be left to for their short lives, or something philosophical like that. “We both trusted nobody.”
The Natsuki says, “The reason I didn’t turn out like Nao, was because you were there for me. I should have realized earlier, what was really important!” Then she materializes her guns!! Woo woo!! Go Natsuki!! Ah, she’s so cool ToT *happy dance*
And Shizuru stops, and she gives a sad little smile, and says, “Good, your powers have returned.”
Short pause… Then, “I’ve just been over to the Old Ladies Association to murder the filthy lot. But there’s still a couple pockets of dastardly old people left here and there. Can you give me a bit of time before our showdown?”
Then the girl takes a real classy exit by stepping right off the side of the building and riding her snake off into the sunset.
Preview – Shizuru in ripped up kimono! Looks like she’s been pretty busy tearing up the town. Guess she and Natsuki go at it… uh, not that way, you perverts!!
Mai-HiME was pretty sucky the last episode, what with the deus ex machinitis the writers cast on the HiMEs to utterly change character and act without logic or reason. The bad writing continues, but damn, Natsuki is sooo f*ckin’ cool (’bout time, geez), and Shizuru, even in insanity, is once more proven to be Still Damn Hot. Therefore, I may actually buy the DVDs.
At least I go to sleep happier tonight than I did last week.
But wait, so if Shizuru has now taken Natsuki’s MIP spot, and Natsuki is Shizuru’s… Uh… Dude, no matter which way you cut it, neither is gonna survive this fight. But, oh, what a way to go!! This had better give us some satisfaction on the yuri front, or I can imagine hordes of highly pissed off yuri fans rising up against the Sunrise staff in righteous fury. Or, maybe not.
Mai? Yeah, stuff happened with her and Tate. I guess it was a big deal, but I was too busy thinking, “Oh my god, Natsuki doesn’t hate Shizuru after all!” to pay much attention.
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March 16, 2005 – 8:14 pm
Most people have heard the stories about how people in Japan are so honest that wallets picked up in taxicabs and streets get returned completely intact. Sounds like fairy tales, right, especially if they are repeated so often.
Last night, as I was walking down a major street at night, I found a wallet lying on the road. My first thought was, “Cool, now I get to be another story of returned wallets!” Heh! I dropped it off at the nearest police box, where they confirmed the contents to be about 17,000yen, some point cards, and no identification.
Apparently, if the owner doesn’t turn up within six months, the finder gets the wallet. But, the paperwork for that takes 20mins, and I had an appointment. Eh, so I willed it to charity :P
I wonder if it counts as karma, even if I considered it more of way to experience something unique (filling out forms at a police box!) than out of pure generous honesty.
Still, I can now see why wallets do get returned. I’m pretty typical as far as Japanese go, behaviour and thinking-wise, and at no point did I even consider just keeping the wallet/money. Sounds kinda wierd, but, dude, even if you found it, it belongs to someone who’ll come looking for it. If I dropped my wallet, I’d be pissed if someone stole my money and credit cards from it.
Along similar lines, when I told my brother that I had found housing from a friend and resisted the urge to squeeze the rent down to bare bones (because it’s not worth ripping off friends), he said, “Well, if you want to be paid what you think you are worth, you should pay others what you believe they are worth.”
Well said.
And on the other side of the world, in one evening our party lost a $450 camera and a $300 phone, stolen from under our noses. And people ask me why I prefer Japan to the US…
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March 13, 2005 – 10:16 pm
Today is White Day in Japan. You know Valentine’s Day? Well, in Japan it’s been perverted into a “girls send guys chocolate” mass orgy of consumerism, one which differentiates between “real feelings” chocolate gifts and “giri (duty) choco” where you send a male friend or colleague a 300yen box because, well, you’re obligated by status.
Of course, not satisfied with having set up the perfect system to sell 5 elephants’ worth of chocolate for one day, the powers-that-be decided that one month after would be just about right to set up a parallel reverse gift system. Guys that got chocolate should give something back. Not only does it serve to get rid of excess inventory, you can even tailor special packages of other gifts that signify how much you care for your givee.
It’s simply quite amazing. This is when you realize that Japan is one hell of a rich country. Over in Shanghai, the expats party it up but the locals live on $200 a month. Here, even kids and unemployed youths think nothing of blowing $50 on god knows what.
I shall be living on the equivalent of $2,500 a month. This is a somewhat unhappy situation. Luckily, I have managed, with unbelievable luck, to snag a place to stay from a friend who’s going to be based in Moscow (we talked on Saturday, I saw the place yesterday, she flies to Moscow today). At 38m sq it’s very big (for Japan), about a 30min or so walk from work (good because I don’t get no transport allowance), and rent is cheap because she’s leaving her stuff there and will be coming back every month or so. The best thing is that moving in and out is hassle-free. This give me time and flexibility to find a better place (or job?!) down the road.
So, I’m in. I have a job. I have a place. Now to get a visa.
Life is a’ rollin’ again.
BTW, Saturday was Hekiru’s birthday. Did I ever imagine I would see her to her 31st birthday? That’s kinda scary…
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March 10, 2005 – 12:25 pm
Just a short note to mention that the Mai-HiME writers have officially earned my Evil Glare of Disgust for the millenium.
I’m sorry, nothing justifies Shizuru going from zero to postal in 3 seconds. This came way out of left field, more than any other plot device such as Takumi biting it. Better scripwriting, SVP.
Ah, well, I think I can reallocate this to the backburner again… EXCEPT!! Natsuki is suddenly cool ^^;;
So we’ll continue to watch. I have no more expectations for Kaichou though.
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March 9, 2005 – 9:40 pm
How do you decide which way you should take your life? The high road? The low road? The back alley, or the expressway? Perhaps you’d like to head into the country, or you might want to ride in to the big city.
I travel along the Road of Life, and I see branches stretching out as I pass by. I don’t know where I’m going. I don’t know what scenery I want to gaze upon, I don’t even know if I should swap my bicycle for a car or a train.
But what I feel, very strongly now, is weight of the Path Taken, or Not Taken. I feel as if the road I choose now will commit me to a certain direction, will have a grave impact. Even though it’s theoretically possible to bail out a couple months down, hike back and try something else.
I’m just about ready to sign an offer with a venture company. I got to know them through an INSEAD friend. They are made of Tokyo University grads who have fled systems/management consulting and finance, to start their own hip and quirky IT company patterned after Silicon Valley startups. In case you are not familiar, most Japan startups (if they exist) are pretty staid, boring creatures who are more like subs of bigger companies.
The pay is really bad though, about the same as when I joined my first company. I had a much better offer from another company to join their new bizdev division for marketing in-house tech, software and user interface, but I liked the people at the venture more.
Still, I dunno if I’m making a mistake. At this venture I’d be working with young, smart and cool people who have the freedom to pull in or start up any project they want, as long as they can show it could make a return. They do everything from running online wedding planning sites, to digital art exhibits, to music exchange communities… Basically, they are a bunch of geeks who decided the only work worth doing is stuff they like. It’s amazing but they are actually in the black. Probably because they pay their people peanuts!
At the other company, which is about 13 years old and a veteran video game and mobile content creator, I’d be no.2 in the new business division, basically doing strategy, marketing, running through ideas and turning the most promising ones into something marketable. Sounds really awesome, but I keep getting the nagging sense that these guys aren’t going to get far. They are too small, the ideas I saw are close to vaporware, and most tellingly, the boss with whom I would be working closely, doesn’t really talk to me. Having a conversation is like pulling teeth.
Aside from that, I’ve spoken to (don’t laugh) Pokem** Corp, which does marketing and branding for all *ahem* Pikapika products. They talked about sending me to England to help start up their new office there, doing localization, marketing and events. Again, coool as hell. But… I would prefer to be in Tokyo. I wonder if I’m a fool for dismissing this one based solely on location.
Also had an interview with Insurance Company H as a QA Designer for Variable Annuity Applications. Yeah, I had no freakin’ idea what that meant either! Surprisingly though, for a 200 year old insurance company the Japan side, or at least the QA team, is pretty sprightly and dynamic. The Japan branch was established just 5 years ago, and the QA team 3 years ago, with a grand total of 1 and a half people! Now they have 8, but they are really understaffed because the business is growing like mad. At first I thought they were a Real Proper QA Division, and me without any formal QA training would be considered underqualified. But it seems that they are winging it as they go, and so when they heard that I also ran my own QA division alone and blind, instead of frowning at my half-assed experience, they actually seemed to respect me!
Anyway, waiting to hear back on their thoughts.
But… it’s a bit too late. I’m due to give my answer to the venture company’s offer on Monday. There’s no way I’d hear back from H by then… the interview was just a feeler for me anyway. Next week Tuesday I also have an interview with a Big Consulting Firm. Again, no real interest, just sniffing the grass on the other side ^_^
So, to wrap up, I’m sitting here, in practical terms I really have only one choice, which would be to take the venture offer. I’m running out of time on the visa, so it make sense to grab this one, secure my work visa. I tell myself I could try it for 3 months, and if I think it’s not worth it, I’d be in a better position to hunt for a new job.
So my reservations are, what kind of work would I be doing? Cool web projects are fine, but wouldn’t it be cooler to start new business lines or help run fledgling divisions? How much do I value the people component of a company over the pay? Where does this decision leave me in terms of career progression? Can I go back to living in a shoebox? Heh…
I keep thinking I should do like a SWOT analysis and whatever on this… I mean, how does one figure out what to do with your life? Usually I know what I want, and boom I go for it, but this time I have doubts and uncertainties galore. Masa says I’m hesitating because this time I don’t really know the answer to, “What do I want”. Me and most of INSEAD!
I guess I should sit down and draw up a chart. I think I already know the components of my ideal job:-
Team
A great team who are geeks who really like me, but who are damn smart. They know how to manage people and projects, they can teach me stuff. We can work hard but have a good time hanging.
Work
A variety of stuff, from project management, to heading teams, to developing new business ideas and products. No grunt work! Or rather, minimum amount. More B2C – B2B systems work is bleh – with a chance to touch on marketing and strategy. Cool industry that fits with my interests, such as gaming, anime/manga, music, internet, tech, events. However, knowing that many of these industries are actually very traditional and uptight, so you don’t want to be directly involved, you just want to be able to touch it, in a sense. Bonus points for the opportunity to read, write and discuss stuff that I’m passionate about.
Take Aways
Still working on this. For now, when I go into my next job, I want to be able to say, “Dude, I can manage any project or team, I can help you start a business from scratch, I can deliver you a refined idea based on your needs, I can analyse your situation and determine a strategy, I can separate the wheat from the chaff and know what’s the most efficient allocation of resources.” This sounds like a consultant, who also executes :P I also want to have the confidence to start my own business.
Pay
Enough so that I can live in a nice big place in a good location! That means spending about 100,000yen on rent. Other than that, I’m not fussy. Of course, more is always better.
Location
Tokyo, Tokyo, TOKYO! At this point, I don’t think there’s any other choice. Perhaps in a couple years, or if Hekiru retires, my feelings will change. But, for now, I desperately want to put down roots and reconnect with people, and this is the city in which I want to do that.
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